


A Nest with Shards of Glass

by the_rck



Series: With the Fire We Stole [2]
Category: Weiß Kreuz
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Aphrodisiacs, Captivity, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Ritual Magic, Shower Sex, Telepathy, Youkai, monster fucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:47:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27880237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_rck/pseuds/the_rck
Summary: Most of the time, Kudoh was at the top of Schuldig's list of members of Weiss he'd most like to set on fire, but sometimes, Tsukiyono pushed Kudoh down to second place.Kudoh's sexual vampirism was less creepy than Tsukiyono's... everything.Without those two, Brad and Schuldig could find a way around Fujimiya and Hidaka. Probably.
Relationships: Brad Crawford/Fujimiya "Aya" Ran/Hidaka Ken/Kudou Yohji/Tsukiyono Omi | Takitori Mamoru, Brad Crawford/Schuldig, Fujimiya "Aya" Ran/Hidaka Ken/Kudou Yohji/Schuldig/Tsukiyono Omi | Takatori Mamoru
Series: With the Fire We Stole [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2092995
Comments: 6
Kudos: 9
Collections: Consent Issues Exchange 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ryuutchi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryuutchi/gifts).



> The title is from Rachel Zucker's poem, "Paying Down the Debt: Happiness."
> 
> I'd say 'Here be dragons' as a warning about things I haven't thought to mention, but that with the 'Monster Fucking' tag would imply literal dragons. There aren't those. Well, not unless that's what Omi actually is.

Schuldig hated a lot of things. He kept lists deep in his mind and went over them when he was angry. Each time, he let himself imagine the destruction he would rain down on everything he loathed. Some day. When he was a god.

Part of him knew-- had always known-- how unlikely becoming a god was. Brad had only offered a ten percent chance that, if they did everything right and nothing changed, they could become gods.

He'd also offered an eighty eight percent chance that they could send all three Elders to Hell with an honor guard of their favorites.

Schuldig had never asked Brad what outcomes compromised the other ninety percent. Schuldig hadn't wanted to know. Schuldig had needed to believe in them becoming gods because the Elders held a special place at the top of his list for apocalyptic revenge.

He wished they'd suffered more. That had been an option Brad offered, but he'd also told Schuldig that the tradeoff was increased likelihood that the Elders would survive. Schuldig had really, really needed to be absolutely sure that all three of them died permanently.

Now, there were four new names on his lists, and Brad wasn't offering any more hope of becoming gods. All Brad said was, "We played dice. We lost. This is a long way from the worst possible outcome."

Schuldig refused to even speculate about what might be worse, and, if Brad weren't his only ally in this hellhole, Schuldig would have strangled him.

Brad definitely had his place on Schuldig's list.

Except... Weiss, as a group, spent more time playing with Brad than they did with Schuldig. Their aphrodisiac made Brad eager every time in spite of the pain and humiliation Brad knew were coming. Repetition was eroding Brad's anger and terror into distaste and resignation.

"The odds that they'll kill me go down each time," Brad had said.

It took Schuldig longer than it should have to understand that Brad meant the odds that Weiss would kill him _accidentally_ by pushing his body beyond what it could survive. Schuldig had to fight nausea every time he let himself think about that.

This day-- or night or whatever. Schuldig couldn't tell-- Kudoh and Fujimiya had come into the cell that Brad and Schuldig shared. Kudoh'd brushed his fingers over Brad's face and then, when Brad tilted his head upward, kissed Brad deeply. Kudoh had tugged Brad to his feet and led him out.

Schuldig had felt Kudoh's power sinking claws into Brad's body. Schuldig had felt Brad surrender to it. Right now, Schuldig felt both Brad's desperation for physical stimulation and Brad's awareness that, given four eager rapists with inhuman stamina, he was going to get more than he could bear without begging them to stop.

Schuldig curled himself in a corner. He pressed his face into his knees. He tilted his body so that the walls would keep him from rocking visibly.

They had Brad in a shower. He was whimpering because he _wanted_ but also knew that no one would allow him any relief until he was clean.

Schuldig wasn't sure if that was sadism or fastidiousness. He supposed it could be both. He wanted to close the link so that he wouldn't know what was happening. He should for his own sanity.

But then he'd wonder and invent worse horrors. Also, while in the grip of Kudoh's power, Brad couldn't maintain his sense of self without Schuldig's support. Brad had never said that that mattered, but Schuldig was terrified of the day when Brad vanished from his own mind to leave only Kudoh's eager fucktoy.

Fujimiya pressed Brad face first against the wall of shower stall and parted the cheeks of his ass.

Schuldig bit his lip against the pain as Fujimiya forced his dick into Brad's body. Brad's body's urgent desire for penetration helped. Brad's dick was hard and pressed between his body and the wall. Brad wriggled a little and almost came from that.

"No," Fujimiya said. "If you come now, it'll be the last time for the next three times we play." He ran a hand down Crawford's spine. "And it will displease me."

Crawford made a whining, animal sound of desperation. _Help,_ his mental voice said as the parts of his mind that weren't entirely snared by his libido tightened their grip on the link Schuldig held open. _Please, Schuldig._

Schuldig set his jaw and pulled hard on the parts of Brad's nervous system that let him move. He wanted to curse. He wanted to slam Brad's head into a wall a few times. Brad had never even suggested that this might be something they'd need some day, so Brad's headache afterward ought to equal Schuldig's own. 

Schuldig wasn't good at puppeting, not without a lot of practice with a particular person.

Schuldig held Brad still and groped for the bits of his mind that connected to arousal. Schuldig tried to divert some of those signals so that the past bearing parts read as intense sensation in Brad's elbows, his shoulders, his feet, any body part that Brad didn't consider sexual.

For the next several minutes, the only thing keeping Brad upright was Fujimiya's weight and Fujimiya's hands. Fujimiya's thumbs dug into Brad's ass, and he fucked with a brutality that he'd never previously used on Brad.

Schuldig recognized it. He'd been on the receiving end more than once. It was Fujimiya's declaration of intent to crush all ability to resist.

Fujimiya took a long time to finish. When he did, he put his lips to Brad's ear and said, "That was the best fuck you've given me, you so tight with everything you have to hold. I want that today. Yohji can hunt outside if he's hungry."

Brad started to cry.

"I won't make you do it entirely on your own," Fujimiya said. His teeth tugged on Brad's earlobe. 

Schuldig made himself focus on the fact that Fujimiya had confirmed that Kudoh fed on sex somehow. Schuldig had suspected, but he'd never had direct evidence. He was almost sure that he was right about the other part-- Kudoh couldn't or didn't want to feed on sex involving Schuldig.

Kudoh got off on fucking Schuldig and on the others fucking Schuldig, but he referred to Schuldig as 'celery.'

Schuldig wasn't sure that knowing was going to help him at all, but he allowed himself a moment of satisfaction over having been right.

It was all that he or Brad were going to get for the next few hours.

Kudoh suggested ice as a way to soften Brad's dick enough to cage it.

Schuldig disentangled himself from Brad's mind as much as he could without abandoning Brad. Schuldig didn't want to feel that.

Brad cried in frustration, but he didn't resist, especially not after Kudoh kissed him again and whispered about how hot and beautiful Brad looked when he'd just been fucked and was desperate for another dick.

Part of Brad-- too much of him-- wanted to be beautiful for Kudoh.

Schuldig choked on bile.

After having a go, Tsukiyono and Hidaka both agreed that fucking Brad when he was drawn tight by not being allowed release was different from fucking him through orgasm after unwanted orgasm.

'Different' wasn't the same as Fujimiya's better, but it was enough to make Schuldig's guts freeze because it was clearly something Weiss was going to do again.

The rapist gangbang equivalent of Taco Tuesday.

Kudoh said, "He's tasty, and he could be enough, but I'm used to something more... free range." His smile showed surprisingly sharp teeth. "There's something in the hunt, too. Eating in, well, I like the company, but..." He shrugged and ran his hand along Brad's arm. "That's not the point of having a pet."

If Brad was a pet, Schuldig wondered what Weiss thought Schuldig was. They were still wary of his teeth, and it was quite possible that, if Tsukiyono weren't a vengeful sadist, they'd have killed Schuldig already.

Then again, keeping Schuldig meant, as Hidaka had put it, 'four holes, no waiting,' and Tsukiyono really enjoyed forcing a connection with Schuldig's telepathy so that Schuldig knew, intimately, every thrill and pleasure Tsukiyono experienced by violating Schuldig's body and by causing him pain.

Schuldig was almost certain that Tsukiyono would take as much pleasure from slowly dismembering Schuldig as he did from raping Schuldig. It was just that dismemberment was a one time only entertainment. Rape could be repeated with a reliable return on investment.

Most of the time, Kudoh was at the top of Schuldig's list of members of Weiss he'd most like to set on fire, but sometimes, Tsukiyono pushed Kudoh down to second place.

Kudoh's sexual vampirism was less creepy than Tsukiyono's... everything.

Without those two, Brad and Schuldig could find a way around Fujimiya and Hidaka. Probably.

When they shoved Brad back into the cell, he was too exhausted to stand on his own, but he was also still hard.

Schuldig caught Brad before he hit the floor. Schuldig half-carried Brad back to the corner where Schuldig had waited. _Do you need me to--?_

For several seconds, Brad seemed to be too far gone to manage words. Then Schuldig realized that Brad had been sorting futures.

"Please," Brad said. "Please." _They won't like it, but they won't punish us._

Schuldig considered the limitations of his own body for a few seconds as he lowered Brad to the floor. He started with a handjob.

Brad came in under thirty seconds. He sobbed desperately. His hands gripped Schuldig's arms hard enough that Schuldig would have to hurt him to escape.

Two orgasms later, Schuldig asked, _If I kiss you, will Kudoh's shit poison me or anything?_ He hoped that Brad would understand the real questions.

_Is it okay if I kiss you after all of this?_

_If I kiss you, will they use it to hurt us?_

_Are you going to be okay?_

_Are_ we _going to be okay?_

It was an offer, too. Schuldig couldn't buy chocolates or flowers. He couldn't even offer soap and water. He would, though, offer physical affection if it would help.

One of Brad's hands moved to the back of Schuldig's neck and tugged Schuldig down so that their lips met.

Schuldig would never, ever let Brad know that the taste of Weiss on Brad made Schuldig want to vomit.

Later, when they'd both had time to sleep off the exhaustion, Brad said, _Hidaka's going to take you to wash later today or tomorrow. He'll ask you some questions. Don't say no without time to think._

 _Should I say yes?_ Schuldig asked.

Brad hesitated. _They won't believe you. Not unless you take time first. Ask why you should even consider saying yes. That'll be better._

 _Okay._ Schuldig didn't figure that Brad's instructions could make things worse. At least, he trusted that Brad was trying not to make things worse.

Brad knew Schuldig's odds of surviving if nothing changed as well as Schuldig did.

 _They're almost certainly going to make me clean in here,_ Brad said. _I'll be okay. It's more like the vitamins they've been giving us than it is a punishment. We're more likely to get sick if they leave us in our own filth. They think I'm more... tractable._

Schuldig understood.

Hidaka would supervise Schuldig because fighting Hidaka was a lot like fighting a concrete wall, the kind with rebar criss-crossed through it, that had a strong right hook.

Nagi'd have been able to take him, but Schuldig would end up with all the bruises while Hidaka laughed.

Hidaka's touch was usually knowing rather than cruel. He had no malice and no mercy.

Schuldig much preferred the overt cruelty of the others; it was so much easier to minimize the damage because it was aimed. He just had to let his mind roll with the blow as much as he could.

He was a telepath. Mental gymnastics were his thing.

Except when they started fucking with Brad.

Four meals later, when Hidaka finally told Schuldig that it was shower time, Schuldig went meekly. He desperately wanted to wash, and he hoped to be allowed a shave.

Given the cell cleaning, Schuldig was betting he and Brad would be hosting a Weiss team orgy later that day. None of them liked Schuldig with facial hair.

"You need exercise," Hidaka said as he shoved Schuldig into the shower stall.

Schuldig had half a dozen smart mouthed responses, but he and Brad wouldn't get anything worthwhile from pissing off Hidaka. Schuldig shrugged. "Not much opportunity," he said.

Hidaka didn't look convinced.

Schuldig turned his back on the other man and reached for the knob to turn on the water. He wasn't entirely sure that he was going to be allowed that much autonomy, but he wasn't giving it up out of fear.

Even if the skin on his back crawled and his mouth went dry at the potential for violence. He couldn't read Hidaka's mind, so he had no idea how far he could push.

Hidaka shut the door of the stall, leaving Schuldig alone inside.

Schuldig leaned forward until his forehead touched the wall in front of him. He stood there for almost a minute, letting the water pour down his back. Then he straightened and worked on getting all of his hair wet enough for shampoo to penetrate.

He thought the ceiling looked different than it had. Everything he'd seen had been different from the last time they allowed him to shower. More light, more sharp corners, fancier furnishings.

Almost like it wasn't the same place at all.

Either major and rapid renovations or-- Schuldig swallowed his fear and let it roil in his belly. He'd already wondered if the members of Weiss were human.

Hidaka's silhouette through the frosted glass door looked bigger, both taller and wider, than Schuldig remembered from fights past.

Hidaka and Fujimiya had each bagged an Elder. Suddenly, that knowledge illuminated things that Schuldig would have preferred to ignore. 

Farfarello's success had come from the fact that he was all static and white noise and from the fact that he didn't care if he died horribly. Farfarello had done it with intention because Brad said it needed doing. 

Hidaka and Fujimiya had killed the Elders because they _were in the way_.

Schuldig was suddenly having trouble breathing. His heart pounded, and he wasn't sure he could remain upright.

He was also terrified of what Hidaka would do if Schuldig collapsed.

Everything seemed so very far away, and the colors faded.

Schuldig clenched his hands in his hair and pulled as hard as he could, hoping the pain would ground him.

Hidaka started to laugh.

Schuldig used that laugh as a bucket to pull up every drop of spite he had left. He had no intention of letting Hidaka see him fall apart over nothing.

Hidaka knew-- Schuldig was sure of that-- but Schuldig had every intention of imitating a cat who had always meant to do that.

Schuldig hoped that his spite was a renewable resource.

If Hidaka hadn't been there, hadn't been watching, Schuldig would certainly be sobbing on the floor. He took a deep breath and considered whether or not he could keep his voice steady long enough to say something cuttingly indifferent. He had much better control over his mental voice when he was stressed, but Hidaka wouldn't hear anything if Schuldig tried to touch his mind.

It had been a very long time since Schuldig had last been voiceless. He didn't like the vulnerability.

"If I come in there and fuck you," Hidaka said, "will you fight?" He sounded like it was idle curiosity.

Schuldig wondered which answer would please Hidaka more. Schuldig was used to knowing. "You might want to wait until I'm clean."

"Eh," Hidaka replied. "I could wash you after." He didn't sound like he was actually intending to do anything at all.

Schuldig poured shampoo into one hand. "Why do you have such shitty toiletries?" He hadn't seen any sign of better elsewhere in the room, and the bottle was lighter than it would be if only Brad and Schuldig used it.

"Money's a little tight right now." Hidaka didn't sound worried by that. "This crap works, and we put the extra into feeding you and Crawford the best kibble."

Schuldig wondered if they could bargain with money; he and Brad had a lot, stashed here and there. He wasn't naive enough to think that they could buy their way free, but he'd spend all of that otherwise useless bank balance for a cell with plumbing and bedding.

Nagi and Farfarello had kept their accounts separate, so Schuldig couldn't plunder those to bribe Weiss. Not that he would. They might still be alive and free. They might still need that money.

Maybe that was why Brad had had Nagi and Farfarello make their own, separate accounts. Schuldig hoped they were out there and using them.

"I thought you'd be busy cleaning up Kritiker's messes." Schuldig tried to sound offhand, but it might matter.

"Gone freelance," Hidaka said. "Kritiker was kind of controlling." This time his laugh didn't sound like it was aimed at Schuldig. "A lot of the bodies from that damned museum aren't going to make it to shore."

Schuldig considered asking about Fujimiya's sister, but he didn't want to risk repercussions.

"Tearing holes in the universe," Hidaka said, "has consequences. No offense, but your bosses were idiots. They'd probably have gotten what they wanted, sure, but they'd have gotten a shit ton of scarier things, too. A lot of them think humans taste good."

Schuldig closed his eyes because he was afraid of the answer to the question he intended to ask. "Like Kudoh does? Like all of you do?"

"I was thinking more of the flesh stripped from bones thing than of what Yohji does."

Schuldig wished he could really see Hidaka, could judge how serious he was and how malicious. Of course, then Hidaka would have been able to see Schuldig's face.

"And I think, as far as humans go, Yohji's more parasite than carnivore or even scavenger. You're an experiment in domestication."

Schuldig interpreted the phrasing as definitely indicating that Hidaka didn't think of himself as human. Hidaka didn't think any member of Weiss was human.

"You'd guessed," Hidaka said. "Plus, we already settled the bet about how long the two of you would take."

That made more sense than Hidaka being kind.

"We won't run out of hot water," Hidaka said, "but you've only got so long before I come in."

Schuldig scrubbed faster. "You're coming in anyway." He heard the resignation in his own voice.

"Well, yeah." Hidaka, at least, didn't sound annoyed at the question. "That's why I pulled you out of the water. None of the others could have got all four of you to shore."

"Farfarello and Nagi aren't here." Schuldig hoped he didn't mean it as a question. The pause after he said it stretched long enough that Schuldig started to worry.

Then Hidaka said, "No. There were... circumstances. The kid will be fine."

Schuldig knew that Hidaka meant Nagi. Schuldig wanted to say that Nagi and Farfarello were both kids, but Farfarello and Hidaka were the same age. Unless-- "Are you actually Hidaka Ken or did you just take his name after he died?" Schuldig didn't want to ask his captor how old he was, not directly.

"I was Hidaka Ken." There was a weird weight to the words that Schuldig didn't understand. "I didn't see any reason to change my name after I stopped being human. I was the same person, just stronger and angrier."

Schuldig swallowed several questions about how a person became whatever-the-hell Hidaka now was and about what Hidaka was. Schuldig desperately wanted to know, but he thought he was going to have to infer most of it from comments about other things.

Too many direct questions would tell Weiss that this was another way to torment Schuldig. They might already know, but Schuldig didn't dare risk it.

He was almost certain that Tsukiyono-- at the very least-- understood how deeply Schuldig was upset by what they were doing to Brad. If they could keep Schuldig out of their minds, they could certainly keep him out of Brad's.

Letting Schuldig's mind touch Brad's was a choice Tsukiyono had made. Was continuing to make.

Not knowing would be terrible, too, but Schuldig could compartmentalize enough to be able to do something else while he was busy not knowing. He didn't want Brad to be alone in Hell, but Schuldig knew himself. Under the current stresses, Schuldig's sanity would only hold so long.

Through the frosted glass, Schuldig could see that Hidaka was removing his t-shirt. Schuldig closed his eyes and swallowed hard. He hurried his washing in the hope that he could finish before the door opened.

The Hidaka who joined Schuldig in the shower was no longer pretending to be human. 

Schuldig made himself look, forced himself to catalogue every detail.

Hidaka's skin was red in places and gray in others. His mouth stretched Joker wide, and his teeth were made for ripping flesh. His eyes were completely black and lacked lashes. His arms and legs were muscular but too long. His fingers and toes had claws. As he moved, his limbs shifted in ways that human joints didn't allow.

Hidaka had his hand on his dick, working it to a hard erection. When his hand moved away, his dick looked... prehensile.

Schuldig had to work at not being sick.

Hidaka's smile stretched from ear to ear. "You're gonna blow me," he said. "You bite, and you lose teeth."

Schuldig pressed his right shoulder against the wall and let himself slide down it until he was on his knees. He looked up at Hidaka and bared his teeth.

"Cute." Hidaka patted Schuldig's head. Then Hidaka bent and hooked a hand under Schuldig's chin. "You can get Omi going by giving him some defiance to crush. He likes that, but it's not a thing that matters to me." 

Hidaka took a half step back. 

At that distance, Schuldig couldn't hope to lean forward and get his lips anywhere near Hidaka's dick. Schuldig was going to have to crawl to chase it. Schuldig was going to have to admit to Hidaka that Schuldig would rather cooperate and postpone having the shit beaten out of him.

Not that Hidaka didn't already know.

Schuldig tried to look at Hidaka's body and see it not as a warped failure of human form but as something never meant to be judged by the same criteria. Schuldig didn't have a lot of physical monsters with which to compare. Maybe Hidaka was gorgeous for a-- whatever-the-hell he was. An ogre? A troll?

"You're big," Schuldig said. He let a little fear show on his face as he looked up at Hidaka. If Schuldig was lucky, Hidaka would take it as awe, as Schuldig being more impressed than horrified.

There was a tiny chance that Hidaka might-- eventually-- become gentler with a fucktoy who admired his physique. Today, right now, the next however long, was going to be painful and humiliating, but Schuldig had been hurt and humiliated before.

He'd survived that. He could survive this.

Schuldig still wanted to live, so he crawled closer to Hidaka and took the tip of Hidaka's dick in his mouth. Schuldig pressed his tongue against the slit and licked. He leaned in to bring the thing in deeper. He'd thought he was prepared for any sort of taste-- fetid, rancid, earthy-- but there was nothing.

Until his mouth started to burn like he'd smeared his tongue with tiger balm or Bengay or some similar. Menthol, camphor, cloves. He flinched but managed not to pull away. His sinuses burned, and his eyes started to water.

He tried to make his whimpers sound like desire and wondered if Hidaka even knew. Did the members of Weiss blow each other when they weren't playing with Brad and Schuldig? Would they notice this if they did? Had any human ever given Hidaka head when he was in this form?

Hidaka's hands pressed into Schuldig's head. "Good." The word was a breathy croon. "Deeper. I know you can." His hands cut off any retreat, but he didn't force his dick further in.

Schuldig sobbed. He loathed himself for the weakness and used the shuddering inhale to pull Hidaka's dick in deeper. He worked his throat and his lips and his tongue until Hidaka groaned. Then Schuldig kept going.

Hidaka's dick moved with a squirming ripple in Schuldig's mouth and throat. Schuldig knew that it couldn't be moving much-- the pain from that would be different-- but it felt _wrong_ , not even a little bit like other times Schuldig had sucked someone off.

Schuldig made himself keep going. He didn't let himself think about how long it was taking or how many times he might have to do it before Hidaka went on to something different. He absolutely didn't consider whether or not having Hidaka's dick in his ass was going to be worse.

Because none of that mattered. There was only getting through every next moment.

Some amount of time later, Hidaka finally came. He kept Schuldig trapped for several seconds after then laughed. He shoved Schuldig away then watched as Schuldig gasped on the floor of the stall.

Schuldig wanted, desperately, to turn his face into the spray from the showerhead and to drink. His throat burned. His tongue burned. Everything burned.

Water probably wouldn't help, but it would be something. He'd feel better if he could try to drink, if he could feel like he was allowed to take care of his pain.

But Hidaka might not like it. That would definitely hurt worse.

"You're so fragile. Humans are, I mean. I forget that sometimes." Hidaka sounded thoughtful rather than sympathetic. He crouched and studied Schuldig. "There's fuck all we can do if we hurt either of you too bad, and Omi wants to keep you for a long, long time."

Breathing hurt, and Schuldig hoped that Hidaka wasn't expecting him to be able to speak. Schuldig hated Hidaka in that moment, more than he'd hated the Elders, more than he'd hated Takatori Reiji and his golf clubs.

Schuldig had been trying hard not to think about things like internal bleeding and concussions and unset broken bones. He'd been trying not to wonder how long it would take him to die that way-- of Weiss's sheer carelessness-- or of how being alone in that cell would affect Brad.

Hidaka's claws combed through Schuldig's wet hair. "I liked that. You were good."

Schuldig also hated the relief that Hidaka's words brought with them.

"You're a lot of fun when you're pinned down," Hidaka said. "When we're not pretending anything, I mean, but I liked you trying so hard." He stroked Schuldig's throat. "We'll work on your stamina."

Schuldig closed his eyes and wished there was a way for him to not be there any longer. At least the water pouring down from the showerhead was still hot. He worked on steadying his breathing, but it hurt as bad as the time he'd had strep.

For what seemed like an eternity, nothing happened. Then Hidaka said, "Do you want what Crawford has? The thing with Yohji making him want it, I mean."

Schuldig didn't. He really didn't. He just also knew that they didn't beat Brad when they raped him. They were cruel, and they enjoyed having Brad beg, but it was psychologically brutal more than physically.

He tried to answer but choked on the pain of trying to speak. He curled himself in tighter and shook.

Then he remembered that Brad had told him not to say yes, not to say no. Schuldig suspected that that meant Weiss could actually do it.

"You're hurt that bad?" Hidaka sounded surprised but not entirely displeased. "It was just a blow job. We both know you've done that before."

Schuldig tried to shake his head, but he had one cheek pressed to the shower floor.

"Really." Hidaka drew out the vowel. He sounded intrigued and more than a little turned on. "Different?"

Schuldig made himself nod.

"Good. Now move so that I can get at your ass. I want to know how bad that fucks you up."

Schuldig made himself roll to his hands and knees. He wanted to fight. He wanted to beg. He wanted to scream. Instead, he tried to adjust his position so that he wouldn't slide on the wet tile when Hidaka started fucking him.

Hidaka's claws pressed into Schuldig's ass three times. "You bleed pretty," Hidaka said.

Schuldig understood that that was meant to frighten him. It did, but it was a distant and tiny thing.

"We want all of you," Hidaka said, tracing patterns on Schuldig's ass without breaking the skin. "Forever. Your body, of course, but also-- You're cunning. You know where people are weak, and the whole telepathy thing-- Well, yeah, we want that. It would make fucking you more fun, too. I'd love to know what you don't want to want and all that shit. That's just not the _point_."

Schuldig shuddered, but part of him had known it was coming. All of the stories said that monsters with magic could seduce and enslave humans, could make them forget what they'd wanted.

"You might even become a youkai," Hidaka said. "If you're very lucky. You'll still be ours, of course. Just... Wouldn't you rather?"

Schuldig tried to speak again and choked on the pain.

"We'll ask," Hidaka said. "You just have to say yes."

Then Hidaka's dick was pressing into Schuldig's ass, and Schuldig was realizing that he'd underestimated how much this part was going to hurt.

Hidaka actually had been careful about Schuldig's throat. That became obvious fast. 

Hidaka's dick writhed, pressing into parts of Schuldig's body that a human dick wouldn't. It wasn't remotely like being fucked with a dildo or having a vibrator pushed into him. Hidaka's hips slapped Schuldig's ass.

Schuldig's fingers scrabbled on the tile. He shuddered and sobbed.

The sound Hidaka made as he came didn't sound human. He relaxed on Schuldig's back and said, "Pretty sure I can teach you to come from that."

Schuldig knew Hidaka could. Especially if something like Kudoh's power was involved.

Hidaka's teeth closed on Schuldig's shoulder with bruising force. "I want more," Hidaka said, "but I think I need to experiment with someone less valuable first. I wanted a hunt and a kill anyway. A little playing with my food shouldn't matter."

Schuldig definitely liked the idea of Hidaka raping other people better than the idea of any more games in the shower.

Hidaka's teeth found Schuldig's left ear.

Schuldig held very still because he could so very easily lose that ear if Hidaka misjudged. Or if Hidaka wanted to hurt him that way.

"You'd help me hunt, wouldn't you, Schuldig?" The question burned against Schuldig's skin.

Schuldig nodded because he would. He definitely would. Then he remembered that Brad had told him not to answer, just to think about it. He hoped this wasn't the question Brad had meant.

"Good."

Schuldig felt Hidaka's tongue on the back of his neck and shuddered. 

Hidaka's weight vanished from Schuldig's back. Schuldig expected Hidaka to leave. Hidaka was done with Schuldig, and the aftermath was Schuldig's problem. Schuldig tried to push himself up so that he could finish washing. That still needed doing after all. The rest didn't-- couldn't-- matter.

Hidaka's arms wrapped around Schuldig, pulling him in close. One of Hidaka's hands started petting Schuldig's hair. "You'll be okay," Hidaka told him.

Schuldig let his limbs go slack.

Hidaka cradled Schuldig against his chest and made noises that Schuldig thought were meant to be soothing. They even almost were. They would be if Schuldig let go of his last scraps of terrified control.

He wanted to. He also wanted to be able to speak so that he could manipulate Hidaka and to touch Hidaka's mind so that he could know his intentions. He wanted to be back in the cell, curled up in a corner with Brad where he could pretend that none of it mattered.

Schuldig wanted very badly to know how much of this had been planned, orchestrated to back him into a psychological corner.

Schuldig would have planned it if their positions had been reversed. People broke in fascinating and often unpredictable ways. When Schuldig was at his best, he could fuck up a stranger with a few words plucked from their own thoughts.

Schuldig turned to press his face against Hidaka's chest and wondered about his own breaking points.

____

Schuldig woke in the main room of Weiss's lair. He was on his back and on the floor.

Kudoh and a human appearing Hidaka were seated on a ratty looking blue couch and staring down at Schuldig.

Schuldig made himself stare back. His throat still hurt enough that he swallowed every smartass comment that tried to escape him.

Not mouthing off was probably safer for him anyway. It was just that, when he provoked them, he felt more in control. Not a lot more, but it was something he could hold onto as evidence that he was still the person he had been.

"I think I like him silent," Kudoh said. He leaned over and pushed hair off of Schuldig's forehead. "The fury almost makes his eyes glow."

One of Hidaka's feet pressed into Schuldig's side, and Schuldig was surprised to realize that there was cloth between them. Schuldig glanced down. He was wrapped in towels.

He'd fallen asleep in the shower. While sitting on Hidaka's lap like a child needing comfort. Schuldig felt himself flush as he admitted that he had needed comfort. He still wanted it and wished he was back in the cell with Brad. Schuldig and Brad could hold each other without giving Weiss any new leverage.

Hidaka's toe prodded Schuldig's side again. "So, if I fucked him now and got off, would that give you anything? Compared to you going out and picking up some random human for a quick fuck, I mean."

Kudoh shrugged. "I'd get _something_ , a little less than from a human out there, a lot less than from Crawford in here." Kudoh looked like he'd prefer having teeth pulled to answering, but he answered anyway. "The 'in here' part matters more than the Crawford part. Most humans are the same."

Hidaka's foot moved so that it was pressing down into Schuldig's belly. "But not this one."

Kudoh regarded Schuldig with clear indifference. "No, not him."

Certain he was going to die, Schuldig reached for Brad's mind. He wanted some sort of comfort as it happened.

 _You're not going to die today,_ Brad said. He sounded so certain of it that Schuldig let himself believe it.

Kudoh leaned down again and ran a finger along Schuldig's collarbone. "Not everything enjoyable is edible," he said. "And us fucking him for hours is--"

Schuldig held his breath.

"It's not just about calories," Kudoh said. "There's more to life than just not starving."

"But you were," Hidaka said. "Before, I mean." His toes shifted, each one in turn pressing a little harder into Schuldig's flesh.

"No," Kudoh replied. "I was always hungry, but that's different. Barely enough is a lot different from starving."

Schuldig knew the truth of that. He also knew the bitterness of seeing and smelling surfeit without being able to have even the scraps from it. He supposed it explained a lot about Kudoh.

Kudoh sighed. "Put him back in the cell, Ken. He needs a couple of days to heal before we play with him again." Kudoh pressed fingers against Schuldig's throat. Kudoh's nails felt longer and sharper than human nails, and, remembering Hidaka's claws, Schuldig braced for what was coming. "If we keep him out here, I'm going to start carving things into his skin."

"If you want to, go ahead." Hidaka's eyes flicked over Schuldig's form. "Scars won't change anything."

"They'd have to heal before we play again."

Schuldig hated them both. He hated Fujimiya and Tsukiyono. He hated Brad. He hated the universe that had trapped him.

He was also grateful to be allowed to struggle to his feet and walk back to the darkness where Brad was waiting.

Schuldig inhaled carefully as the door shut behind him. The cell definitely smelled better, a lot better. Every hint of sweat, sex, and excrement was gone. 

Schuldig wasn't sure how long he'd been away, how long he'd been unconscious-- the shower part couldn't have taken more than an hour, two at most-- but he really didn't think that it had been long enough to eradicate the stench from the corner where he and Brad pissed when they didn't have a better choice.

Clearing that would normally require more than scrubbing with scented soap; it would take days of fresh air.

Schuldig was pretty sure that the lack of even a bucket was meant as punishment for past sins. Weiss only cared when the mess inconvenienced them.

 _Weiss used magic, but they still made you scrub,_ Schuldig said.

From somewhere in the darkness, Brad gave a mental shrug.

The space outside the cell looked nicer every time Schuldig saw it, more spacious, more colorful, more comfortable. He'd thought, the first time or two, that he was imagining it simply because he and Brad had nothing, but more and more, he was thinking that Weiss was working the space like it was clay.

Which made the lack of toilet in the cell active malice because it wasn't that they _couldn't_. They just enjoyed inflicting additional misery on their prisoners.

Schuldig took two steps further into the cell and couldn't decide whether the floor felt different because his feet remembered other surfaces or if it was actually a different texture now.

He'd had a little light before Hidaka closed the door behind him, and nothing in that visible sliver of the room had looked different, but he also hadn't been looking for it.

 _Here,_ Brad said. "To your right and further in." _Scrubbing gave me something to do, some exercise._

They both knew that scrubbing had also given Brad a way not to fall too far into the echoes of Schuldig being raped in the shower.

 _My voice is gone,_ Schuldig told him. _But hearing yours helps._ He took cautious steps toward where he'd heard Brad's voice. _Hidaka was-- I thought it would be worse. He's... He's very definitely not human. An ogre, maybe?_ If Schuldig tried to explain about Hidaka's dick and how it moved and how it burned, he was going to give Brad sensory images, the echoes of Schuldig's own experience.

Brad, Schuldig suspected, was going to find all of that out first hand. Eventually.

Or maybe he wouldn't. Hidaka wouldn't starve Kudoh by taking Brad off the menu.

 _Kudoh had a lot to say,_ Brad commented.

Schuldig's reaching hand found Brad's arm. _Did he touch you?_ Schuldig thought that Brad's mind was too clear for him to have been under Kudoh's spell, but Schuldig also hadn't been paying attention to Brad's mind.

If there'd been any spikes of panic or desire, Schuldig should have noticed it. If it had happened while Schuldig was unconscious, his mind would still have noted it because Brad was _important_.

 _He liked that I was afraid that he would._ Brad sounded calmer about it than Schuldig expected. _I could give him that._

Schuldig felt rage sparking in his gut. He tightened his grip on Brad's arm and raised his free hand in a fist.

"If you really need to." Brad sounded almost placid about the prospect of getting punched.

Schuldig's throat hurt enough that his snarl was purely mental.

 _Me being upset won't do a damned thing,_ Brad said. There was an edge in his thought that told Schuldig that Brad expected Schuldig to know that already.

Schuldig did know. _I can't. Brad, I can't._

 _You can._ Brad sounded so certain that Schuldig almost believed him. "I'd rather not be alone," he added softly. He put his free hand on the hand Schuldig was using to grip Brad's arm. _You're squeezing a little hard. Still._ Brad tugged gently. "We should sit. We have time."

 _A day or two,_ Schuldig said. _Kudoh said I need to heal._

"Yes." Brad sat with his back to the wall and pulled Schuldig down with him. _There will be knives. I'm sorry, but, after, it will be better._

Better, Schuldig understood, was not the same as good. He tried to decide whether knives were better or worse than claws. _Can we make better a trend?_

_Probably. At the very least... They won't separate us. Just--_

Schuldig could feel Brad taking a deep breath. _Hidaka asked more than one question._

 _They were all the same question, really._ Brad sighed. _Saying yes will make it easier; they'll even sweeten the deal a bit. Saying no... Please don't say no. It won't matter in the end except that parts of_ you _will be gone._

Schuldig pressed his face against Brad's shoulder and let himself weep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter containing a ritual involving pain and blood and (non-sexual) coerced consent.

The point when Schuldig had to decide came twenty seven meals, four showers, and two marathon gang rape sessions later. Hidaka's ogre form hadn't come out to play again. All four members of Weiss had, however, showed non-human physical characteristics-- not the same ones each time-- and seemed to be experimenting to see which ones made fucking Brad and Schuldig more fun.

Fujimiya's hands could feel like thousands of stinging insects. Hidaka's tongue could draw blood. Both of them thought that added something to a forced orgasm.

Kudoh agreed, especially if Schuldig was the victim. "It's just seasoning for Crawford, but it makes Schuldig into a meal."

So now, the sessions that had all or most of Weiss working over one victim sometimes involved Brad and sometimes Schuldig. Brad usually tried to make himself the more attractive victim. _Kudoh's power cushions it for me,_ he said.

Schuldig was pretty sure that most of what cushioned it for Brad was dissociation. Brad could make himself believe that the drugged, desperate slave was a different person from Brad Crawford and that the slave wanting it all so much meant it wasn't so bad.

Schuldig thought that he'd probably say yes to whatever Weiss demanded if it meant that he could have what Brad had. Schuldig didn't _want_ it, but Brad's urgent need to be touched could be satisfied by pain as much as by pleasure.

It would hurt every bit as much if Kudoh's power worked on Schuldig, but with Kudoh's power, if a touch gave any hope of eventual orgasm, Schuldig would beg for the pain that went with it.

 _It will happen today,_ Brad announced six meals after the second marathon gang rape. _They'll let us shower. Then they'll ask you. Then, no matter how you answer, they'll bind you._

Schuldig didn't answer. He couldn't. Nothing felt real any more, not even Brad.

Brad sat down next to Schuldig and put his arms around him.

Schuldig leaned into the embrace and found a question. _Are they going to bind you?_

 _Not today. They won't try anything on me today._ Brad's arms tightened a little. _They can use your telepathy as long as your body's still alive. You'll even track for them, be a cunning and unrelenting hunter._

Schuldig shuddered as he understood.

Brad's visions weren't objective. They used his mind's symbols. He had to focus on specific things and understand what was likely and what wasn't.

Another person could learn, but it would take decades to match what Brad could do now.

Schuldig's power without Schuldig could still be an untappable communication system, a lie detector, a tracker.

Weiss wanted all of Schuldig, but they only _needed_ him alive. They didn't need his intelligence or his memories or his personality.

_Please, Brad, don't leave me alone until it's over._

Brad's hand started rubbing circles on Schuldig's back. _I won't leave you at all. Promise._

Schuldig knew that wasn't a promise Brad could keep, but it was still comforting.

____

This time, the shower was icy. Schuldig stood under the spray and shivered. He couldn't imagine ever being warm again.

 _It's a purification thing._ Brad wasn't physically present, but Schuldig could feel that Brad was giving him full attention. _They're trying to have the water wash away everything tying you to anything that isn't them._

_Even you?_

There was a momentary hesitation. _Yes, but I promise I won't let go. I need you to hold onto me, too._

Schuldig considered his mental grip on Brad's mind. _Like a trapeze act,_ he said. He could almost feel Brad's wrist in his hands and Brad's hand on his wrists.

 _So neither of us falls,_ Brad said, accepting the metaphor.

Or so they both did. Schuldig buried that thought before Brad could hear it, but he suspected that Brad knew.

Brad always knew that sort of thing. He just didn't usually let Schuldig choose.

____

An hour or two later, Schuldig lay, bent backward on a stone semicircle protruding from the floor. His wrists and ankles were trapped in the stone, and Tsukiyono's hand pressed Schuldig's throat just hard enough that Schuldig couldn't pretend it wasn't there.

Schuldig's mental hands still gripped Brad's mental wrists, and Brad's grasp on Schuldig remained firm.

 _If you say 'yes,'_ Brad said, _they'll offer you some choices. I won't be able to coach you through them, but, every time they offer two options, you need a way to choose both. Say 'both' if you have to, but it'll be better if you can mix them. If they offer three options, take the one that blends the other two. They won't tell you want the choices mean, and they will mean something._

_And if they offer four?_

_That one... That one's up to you. I don't know if they'll offer a four way choice. If they do, it'll be which one of them owns you. Not that the others won't own you, too-- the four of them are a unit-- just that they won't have primary power. You can say 'Weiss' and split it equally, but whoever owns you can free you._

_Is that a possibility?_ Schuldig asked.

 _Not soon. The other three all answer to Tsukiyono, so there isn't a choice that gets you out from under him._ Brad sounded tired. _Whichever way you go, I'll be holding on. Neither of us will be left behind._

 _Why are you letting_ me _choose?_

_Because if you don't, I'll be left behind. Either way. I can hold on, but you need to carry me. Also, whatever you say, you have to mean it._

Schuldig supposed all of that meant something complicated, but he didn't have the time to figure it out. Either he trusted Brad or he didn't.

Tsukiyono's other hand pressed against Schuldig's chest, right over his heart. "You're ours by conquest," he said in an almost conversational tone.

That wasn't a question, so Schuldig didn't say anything. He could just see Hidaka to his left and Fujimiya to his right. Kudoh had been standing near Schuldig's feet, but Schuldig couldn't see if Kudoh was still there without raising his head. Schuldig saw no benefit in fighting Tsukiyono's hand on his throat just to know where Kudoh was.

"Will you choose to be ours by will and power?" Tsukiyono still didn't sound like he was asking a life or death question, but Schuldig felt something like electricity dancing over his skin, trying to get inside.

Schuldig licked his lips. He wasn't sure his voice would work. He studied Tsukiyono's face, trying desperately to read him.

"Words, Schuldig," Tsukiyono said. "If you don't say yes, I'll assume no."

And no meant death. Schuldig closed his eyes and said, "If I'm allowed to hate you then... Yes."

Tsukiyono laughed. "Accepted."

The laugh and the word echoed through Schuldig's head. They burned. Schuldig's body spasmed and tried to pull itself free.

Schuldig felt Brad's grip on his mind tighten a little, and Schuldig started to understand the 'you'll have to carry me' part of things. He could feel Brad's consciousness as a weight pulling him toward a lethal fall.

There was no net, and Brad's grip wouldn't slip. Either they both held, or they both fell.

Schuldig screamed.

Schuldig's body was still shuddering when Fujimiya said, "Red or blue?"

Schuldig couldn't think. His brain felt like he'd gone three days without sleeping and had run out of caffeine.

"Red or blue?"

Schuldig wondered how many repetitions of the question would be allowed. His tongue didn't want to cooperate, and he only managed a vibrating gasp.

Tsukiyono moved his hand from Schuldig's throat to Schuldig's hair. The touch was oddly gentle.

Schuldig managed a whimper.

"By will and power," Tsukiyono said. "Choose, and you'll have a little rest." He glanced at Fujimiya and nodded.

Schuldig found his voice. " _Lila_." The word rasped, but it was perfectly intelligible.

Apart from being in German.

Schuldig's mind struggled to remember any other language. Japanese was eluding him, but he was trying.

"A problem we hadn't considered." Tsukiyono stroked Schuldig's forehead. "One more time." The words sounded coaxing.

Schuldig shuddered. He found English and hoped, desperately, that one or another member of Weiss understood it. " _Purple_."

Fujimiya started to laugh. "Are we set up to mix colors?" he asked Tsukiyono.

Tsukiyono frowned. "If we can do it quickly."

A few minutes later, Fujimiya started drawing on Schuldig's skin using a brush and ink that mixed the red ink and the blue ink that he'd brought into the cell.

Schuldig chose not to watch. Instead, he closed his eyes and tried to steady his breathing. He also tried to pull Brad's mind in closer.

The only change was that Brad's grip seemed to tighten.

Schuldig held because letting go wasn't an option.

Fujimiya's brush tickled, but the ink felt like ink.

Schuldig hoped Fujimiya took a long time because Schuldig understood that the ink wasn't going to keep on being ink. He didn't even try to guess what meanings there were in the symbols and patterns. His knowledge of kanji was shit, and whateverthehell these people were-- They might not even use kanji.

Eventually, the brush stopped moving.

Tsukiyono tapped a finger on Schuldig's forehead and asked, "Water or salt?"

Schuldig's mouth and throat were dry, and he desperately wanted to say water. He let himself imagine that for a moment then squeezed his eyes more tightly shut and whispered, "Tears." He managed Japanese this time and tried to be pleased with himself.

A few seconds later, Tsukiyono tapped the hinge of Schuldig's jaw. When Schuldig obediently opened his mouth, someone-- probably Tsukiyono, but Schuldig didn't care enough to open his eyes to find out-- dripped salty water on his tongue.

Schuldig swallowed it. He didn't think it was as much as a milliliter, just a few drops, each one a tear.

"Good," Tsukiyono murmured.

"Steel or claw?" Hidaka asked.

Schuldig shuddered because he couldn't imagine either of those being good. He also couldn't think of a clever way to blend them. He wondered if 'both' would mean everything twice or a little of this and a little of that. "This is the part when I scream," he said.

"Yes," Hidaka said. "Steel or claw?"

Schuldig couldn't say it. He didn't want it. He opened his eyes and found Tsukiyono's face looking down at him.

"You're good at pain," Tsukiyono said. "I'll watch." He smiled and brushed a finger across Schuldig's lips.

Schuldig felt water leaking from the corners of his eyes as he said, "Both." His voice cracked on the word, and he was pretty sure he didn't sound like he meant it. He did, though. He had to.

Brad had been extremely clear about that.

Both meant each cut twice, the knife first and then the tearing spike of Hidaka's claw. The cuts followed Fujimiya's inked lines.

Schuldig screamed until his voice shattered, and the pain kept coming. He turned as much of his attention as he could toward the place where his mind help Brad's. Bearing it all was easier when he knew he wasn't alone.

But Brad's mind felt heavier and heavier.

Schuldig hoped his mind didn't tear itself in half.

Then the cutting stopped. Schuldig's body throbbed with ongoing pain. He knew he was still bleeding and suspected that it was worse than it would have been if he'd accepted an or option.

"Honey or vinegar?"

Schuldig wasn't entirely sure that was Kudoh's voice, but balance seemed to call for him asking something now. Schuldig tried to think of something that included both options. He knew there were tonics, but he didn't have recipes or names, just a general idea. He was so tired. So very, very tired.

Finally, he made his tongue and lips move and said, "Duck sauce."

"The fuck?"

Schuldig was pretty sure the profanity came from Hidaka.

The laugh was very definitely Kudoh's.

Tsukiyono tapped Schuldig's forehead again.

Schuldig really wished he'd stop doing that.

"Not an option offered," Tsukiyono said.

"Duck sauce," Schuldig repeated.

"He just wants us to mix them," Kudoh said. He sounded like he was still laughing.

Schuldig managed a nod. He was glad someone understood. He wondered if he was going to have to drink the stuff or if it was getting smeared on his body. Wasn't honey supposed to have healing properties?

Vinegar on his cuts would hurt like a son of a bitch.

They had him drink it. Schuldig felt it like fire rolling down his throat and then out to every bit of his skin. His eyes went wide. He choked and stopped breathing. He couldn't move. Not a twitch, not a blink, not a breath, not a swallow.

He could still feel Brad in his mind, and the knowledge that he wasn't alone let him hold onto consciousness.

"Ours," Tsukiyono said.

 _Yours,_ Brad said at the same moment.

Schuldig felt a lightning flash of power through a web that tied each member of Weiss to the others and him to each of them. For a moment, he could see his connection to Brad, too, a thick cable quite separate from Weiss's web.

 _They need you now if they want my power,_ Brad said. _Both of us or neither. It's done, Schuldig. You can pass out now._

The new connection between them weighed nothing at all. Neither of them had to work at it or sustain it. Schuldig suspected that Weiss wouldn't be able to undo it or block it.

As Schuldig slipped into unconsciousness, he wondered how long it would take Weiss to notice what Brad had done.


End file.
